Monday, September 28, 2009

this...some of that

It's been awhile since I posted. Sorry! Do you ever wish you could backtrack to a certain point in your life and start again? I'm sure everyone does.

I'm not much into putting personal stuff on my blogs, but I am going to walk out on a limb (a little) with this one. There have been too many funerals in my family the past year - mother, brother, sister-in-law, father-in-law, brother-in-law. These past few weeks I have felt emotionally bankrupt, not wanting to do much of anything at all, not wanting to talk or create. When I would come to my blog, I just did not have enough left in me to write a sentence. I'm going to give it a shot tonight and post something.

While browsing through Borders today, I found a book that reminded me so much of my relationship with my own mother that I just had to buy it. My mother was wonderful, strong, full of faith, a realist, stable, a hard worker, a fabulous cook - but we clashed every time we got together. It was never anything big, always trivial things.

So, since my brain is on vacation at some undisclosed location for an unlimited amount of time, I'll be sharing some thoughts and experiences from Cathy Guisewite's "Confessions to My Mother", that match my experience with my own mother. (I am wondering, did we all have the same "Mother"? 

There are days when a hug from my mom would fix every thing. If you are blessed to have your mom and dad around, do HUG them every chance you get!

I've always needed 
your approval the most 
and believed 
 your compliments the least.

Cathy Guisewite 

 On a lighter note, the puppies are doing wonderful! They are gorgeous and so very, very smart! 
Here are a favorite pics of "pure love" wrapped in white fur!


Poppy said...

You definitely had a tough year :S I would say collectingpositive energy takes a while after a year like that, but time is a good healer.

Puppies are so sweet! I've just spent a few days at my friend's who is a dog breeder and they have a litter of four now - I had so much fun! :) We came to a conclusion that all small things (dogs, cats, babies, shoes, clothes ... ) are the cutest things in the world. :)

Dustjacket Attic said...

My goodness, you have had such a seriously tough year. Hang in there, sounds trite but take one day at a time.

On a lighter note I'm amazed at how fast the puppies have grown. They must be so much fun to watch and be with. I love them.

xxx and Hugs DJ

steven said...

hi sixpence - so cool to see you again - i hadn't put together just how many difficult events you've dealt with in the past year until i read this here today. you must be empty. of course. recharge, collect good vibes from wherever they're available.
i can't wait for my daughter to wake up and come down so i can show here the puppies. they are unbelievably cute!!!!!
be kind to yourself. it'll all come back in time.

Resweater said...

(((hug))) I am so sorry that you've had such a rough year. We have had a rough year as well, but not to the extent you have, so I understand the feeling of not wanting to do anything.
The puppies should help. Puppies can cure anything! ;)

down and out chic said...

the puppies are adorable...
you have been through a lot (that is probably an understatement). we'll all be here whenever you feel like blogging again, don't rush. i'm glad to see you back and always happy to hear from you.

The Curious Cat said...

My heart goes out to you. What a year! I'm so so sorry. Still I hope writing can be a little relief to is good that you feel strong enough to come back to it now and share a little. I don't know your circumstances or you very well but please know that, like the others here, we do care in our own little way. We all try to find some positive words of encouragment!

Your little pups look so cute. They must bring you a lot of happiness. Small little pleasurable balls of fluff...Lots of Love and a big hug xxx


Sorry to hear about this rough year... Your inner strength is inspiring. I'm glad that you are back with this adorable post of little creatures, heaven sent I'm sure! Much love to you darling!! BIG XO*


oh, i am so sorry for your losses - bless your heart - while i have not had the physical loss of people dear to me recently, i, as we all do, share what that means -

and dear heavens!!! those little bundles of pure white joy!!!!! how absolutely adorable!!! perhaps their innocent love will be a source of comfort to you - i hope so - they are certainly lovely - wish i had two or three of them!!!

take care - jenean

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry. It is never easy losing our loved ones. I will be sure to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Anthony said...

Six... I didn't know that so many of your loved ones had passed on in the last year. That is an awful lot for ANYONE to deal with!

Hopefully, you will now get a good, long reprieve from death so that you may grieve properly, recover and heal (of course, this may take several years). Having to deal with so many losses so close together just hasn't given you enough time in between, and it must've almost felt like the same scab was being ripped off with each subsequent passing.

I understand the lack of motivation to do anything creative. I've been where you are. Well, not to the same degree. But I have been paralyzed with grief, and I've known what it's like to feel as though nothing you could possibly create would be worth the time or effort because it wouldn't, COULDN'T ever mean as much to me (or anyone else) as the loved one I had lost meant.

Then, eventually I started playing around with my camera again, taking all sorts of funky photos. And before I knew it, I was messing around with collage, cutting 'n' pasting, etc. Plus, I started Pop Circus!

I guess the main thing I'm trying to say is, you are a beautiful, intelligent and VERY creative woman. And it is my humble opinion that you have a lot to offer the world. I'm sure that you've already made quite a difference, so far. Anyway, I wish for you that you may find the same place within yourself that allowed me to return to my creative pursuits. I truly believe that art DOES re-energize your spirit. And when your spirit is soaring, the heart is mending!

Draffin Bears said...

Hi Sixpence,

What a tough year you have had.
I am so sorry for all you have gone through and sending lots of hugs, love and comfort to you.
Having my Father pass away last week, I can understand your sadness.
Sometimes with sharing things, can ease the pain a little ~ I know it did for me.

Thank you for sharing your adorable little puppies. They are so cute and must be keeping you very busy.

Lovely to see you back and I hope that life can be brighter for you.

Carolyn xo

Margaret Pangert said...

Six, I am so sorry for the terrible tragedies you've suffered this year! I'm really impressed at how well you've been managing. (Of course, there will still be black holes here and there.) The puppies are such a sane choice. They have to be making you feel. You have a certain energy abut you that will serve you well. I send you many, many hugs. ooooooooo

Slices of Beauty... said...

Lovely to hear from you SixPence.
My prayers and thoughts are with you.

You could blog about anything, even the puppies alone, love them to bits.

John said...

First of all, forgive me for taking so long to read and comment. I too have been through the ringer lately. My sadness seems like nothing compared to yours.

You sure have had your not so fair share of funerals and I am especially sorry to hear you lost your Mother. I just cannot imagine, but my heart goes out to you.

I know exactly what you mean about not getting so personal on the blog. I feel the same way and I too in my most recent post revealed a bit of pain that rears its ugly head in September, which is actually for me the pain starts August 31 and I am talking about when people I love passed away and also people I've lost in other ways always in September.

I have this thing about remembering dates and sometimes that can be haunting, as I'm sure you know.

Hang in there and know I'm thinking of you. BTW, LOVE the new pics. You are so beautiful!

Laurie said...

Thank you so much for stopping by my blog - I'm so glad you did! Those puppies are amazingly gorgeous! I have always, always wanted to watch a litter of puppies grow; every day I'm sure they make you smile. After I read about your year, I thought how drained you must feel. Grief takes so much out of us, and the loss of close family members like that and all those funerals would have me completely overwhelmed, as I imagine you are. Keep writing about it if it feels better - some things, I think, just need to be expressed. Take good care, and I hope you visit again soon! I'm following your blog now.

Lille Diane said...

Thank you for sharing with us about all the difficult loses you've had this past year. You have certainly had more than most people deal with their entire lives in just one year. Thank you, too, for the reminder to hug your Mom. My Mom is my best friend, and I haven't seen her for almost 3 years now. I'm going to go visit her in a week. It will be the farthest I've been in a car since my accident. Reading your post reinforces the need to go see her, and minimizes the fears I have about being in a car. Thank you for this gift.

After seeing those sweet, SWEET, sweet lil puppy pies, I am willing to drive to your house, too. Where do you live??? I think I've been healed of PTSD just by lusting after those puppies. LOL

Big hugzzzzz to you. I truly wish I could give you a big hug~~~

BTW your new header is fabulous!!! May I have your hair, your glasses,and one (or two) of your puppies, too???

Judy said...

I know what u mean - lots of funerals around me at the moment too. I will take your advice on board. I dont think I can give any comfort to you but it seems to me that u have lots of caring people around you and maybe that helps. Take care.

gina said...

Wow I knew you were having a hard time but I never knew why. One death is hard to deal with I can't imagine 5. You are a very strong woman and I know the light seems very dim for now but in time it will get better. I to have a major clash with my mother when we talk or are around each other. My mother has always been there for material things but not for love or encouragement. I have 4 girls and I hope to not make the same mistakes my mother has. Although I do see myself somrtimes fall into that trap and I correct it asap. Mothering is difficult but we must brake the cycle of disfunction. Please do not allow yourself to fall into deep depression. 5 funerals is a lot maybe you could talk to someone near to just listen. a book I suggest that will help is Wokini: a Lakota journey to happiness and self- understanding by Billy Mills and Nicholas Sparks. Please give it a try and HUG HUG HUG.

Peter said...

... and the mother of the puppies looks so proud! Another mother!

We don't always have easy years, fortunately time mostly heals!

Amy said...

I have been so wrapped up in other things that posting just has ot been a part of my world for some time. I am so sorry for you. I can not even imagine how one would cope with such loss. I think by what you just said about moms we all must have the same mom in some core of our world. My mom does not have the health she used to and I find it hard to listen to her all the time. for this i feel guilty. She is so precious and so giving of herself. I just find my patience so thin at times. But, you are so right about loving so each day and spending the time. I am praying for you and your children.
And you are right those are the cutest pups.. I love the USA shirt!! I have to borrow the dogs for my blog if you don not mind...glad to be back in blogging world for a while.

The Cottage Cheese said...

Oh Sweetie, I'm so sorry. I knew you had lost someone close to you, but I had no idea the depths of your grief. You always have the kindest words for all of us, when you are going through something far more difficult than anyone else I know. You are an amazing woman, and very strong! Things will get better. Pets can be a nice source of comfort. Snuggle those sweet little puppies every day!

Anthony said...

Hello, six.

I know that you aren't feeling very motivated to do much right now, and that's totally fine. I just wanted you to know that I was given a blog award, and that you were one of the people I chose to pass it along to. I'm sure that it's probably the LAST thing you want to deal with, at the moment!

Heck! Your blog is so cool & creative, I wouldn't be at all surprised if you've already received this one before.

If, by chance, I have piqued your interest and you want to check it out, just "pop" by the circus. It'll be there waiting for you... :)

Anonymous said...

Lovin' those puppies.

Sorry about all the sadness in your life this year. It's just not fair is it?


Anonymous said...

Could those puppies be any cuter?


Jo said...

I don't know how I am just now seeing this post. I wish I would have seen it sooner!

The way you describe your relationship with your mother speaks to me. It sounds exactly like my relationship with my mother. You've put everything I feel into words. My mom and I love each other so much, but in her words, which broke my heart, "we clash". The thing is, I don't want to clash. I've already lost my father (we were two peas in a pod) and I just want to be able to appreciate and enjoy my mother while I can.

My heart goes out to you. It truly does. I'm sending you the biggest hug. This post was written a few weeks ago. I hope you're doing okay.

And, on a happy note, I hope all is well with the pups! They are adorable!!

Much love.

Natalie said...

Hang in there...things will get better. Stay strong.

Psst...I am hosting a giveaway today on my blog, if you'd like to enter. xo