27 August 2015

Moving Forward

It is starting to feel like summer is coming to a close, much cooler temperatures this week. Not complaining about that, but I'm not sure it is time for summer to end. It feels like summer last only a couple weeks anymore. Not really ready for the leaves to start falling, not sure I will be up for cleaning them up this year.

It has been a rough week physically. I've been without my meds for most of this month. Having trouble walking and using my hands. It is taking me hours to wrap Etsy packages. I always write a personal note to my customers and my handwriting doesn't look so great these days.

After talking to a fb friend last night, who struggles with the same disease, I am feeling quite anxious and fearful. She can only be up for about 10 minutes at a time, now has two inhalers she has to have in order to breathe, it is now attacking her liver and, she has to have two magnifying glasses in order to read, and other organ problems. I deal with all the same issues, they just have not progress to this stage as of yet. She is fortunate having family to help and support her. I carry my struggles alone and take care of my husband.

On another note. I made her a meditation journal. I'm putting it in the mail this afternoon. I scattered some nice quotes throughout the journal.

She has advised me to go forward with applying for disability. I've been putting it off, but I know it must be done.

My fish are doing well now that the snake is gone. It brings a sense of peace and calm when I sit out there and watch them. I think I would like to have an aquarium in the house, just can't have anything else to have to clean and take care of.

I found a soup recipe that I am going to make. Seems like the perfect day, cloudy and breezy.

I am thankful for a decent week on Etsy. It definitely helps with buying groceries when I have a few sales.

17 August 2015


I guess I did not realize how much my medicine was helping with my symptoms of my disease. I've been without it for a couple weeks now after choosing to buy a washer instead of buying medicine for a month or two. Even when taking it I have flare-ups and bad days, but I could hardly get out of bed today and am having a hard time walking. Last night cutting up a potato was almost out of the question.

I could not stay in bed this morning, I have to take care of David. I forced myself up and took my time getting down the stairs. It took a while for me to get his breakfast this morning, cause opening a jar and cutting up an apple, raising my arms to get the tin of tea was excruciating.

After I got his breakfast I was looking up info on things to take to boost my immune system. I take iron for my anemia and vitamins and fish oil, but wanted to maybe take something more. I was surprised to find that they do not recommend you take anything to boost your immune system since auto immune diseases is an over-active immune system and taking things could actually do more harm. How the hell do you win with this?

I would like to go back to bed and I would if it would help. But the pain doesn't go away when I'm in bed, so I may as well be up. I can't really work on a project right now, my hands do not work well enough to sew or do any macrame today. Possibly tomorrow.

My beautiful Koi, they always bring a sense of peace and calm when I watch them.

 All photos by SPBM

I saw this little story of a donkey falling down a well on Pinterest and found it to be quite inspiring.I hope you enjoy it as well.

 Found on Pinterest.

09 August 2015

Eckhart Tolle Quote

photo spbm

I'm reading a lot of Eckhart Tolle these days. He is wonderful!

Another World

This quote seems appropriate for a Sunday.

Photo link

“Inside a lover’s heart there’s another world, and yet another.”

07 August 2015

Friday Night

It's about four days without my medicine and boy, not sure how well I am going to do the rest of the month.  My eyes are swollen and they hurt so badly. All I want to do is go to bed and stay in a dark room and hope tomorrow they feel more normal.

I have so much to do, like I have to move the old washer and dryer out of the utility room by Monday. Hopefully, the delivery guy(s) will help me move the dryer back in.

The pond is still a mess from the snake. David has an infected toe from walking on his feet so much in order to catch the snake. They have started him back on antibiotics. I still wonder how a human body can handle such heavy doses of antibiotics.

But the fish are looking good since the snake is gone. Most of them are goldfish, probably 4-5 Koi, not sure. We bought a bunch of little feeders for 10 cents each about a year ago. They have grown so much and looking so pretty. Nothing as calming as watching fish. But also quite stressful when something is after them, especially a snake.

We went to Petsmart yesterday just to look, a fun thing to do. Saw a couple cute little creatures. They were kind enough to pose for a photo. Check them out...They're so cute.

photo: spbm


05 August 2015

August Dislikes and Current Loves

A week and half ago I was out by the pond and reached down to pull a weed and saw something move... yes it was a snake. I have an unusual fear of snakes. Like the kind of fear that I turn into a crazy person at just the thought of a snake - I'll throw a magazine away if it has a picture of a snake. I'll stop watching a show or movie it has a snake in it - I cam inside and got David. He went out to check it out. When he found it, it had one of my beloved Koi in its mouth. David caught the damn thing and took it a ways from the house and turned him loose. I was furious. I wanted the thing dead. As far as I am concerned there are no "good" snakes. So after that little exhausting experience I went about trying to work on the yard but finally gave it up, I was too freaked out about a snake being in the yard.

The best picture I could get, but that's ok, don't need a good one.

So, that night I am sitting at the computer and David is watching TV and he says, "get me a plastic bag". I'm like, why? He said don't move fast, just get me a bag. There was a freakin' bat in the living room. He had no trouble catching it, but, all I could vision was him getting bitten, or, the puppies going nuts and getting bitten. I was a mess the rest of the night. I was looking all over the house. I got my sage stick out and did some house smudging. Slept with the lights on the rest of the week. All we can figure out is that it came down the flue??? So. we've worked on redoing the pond. I went and bought a couple new Koi to replace the ones that were gone. Saturday morning I went out to feed the fish, threw in a hand full of food and the snake comes up. Yes, he had found his way back. David tried to catch him, no luck. Every time we came in the house for more than five minutes, he would appear. So, I sat outside for three nights watching and making sure he didn't come during the night. He did manage do get in and get a few fish without us seeing him. Don't know how the heck he did it. We took turns sitting watch. Yesterday, I had come inside and after a couple minutes, I looked out the kitchen window and there he was, slithering across the rocks on his way to a snack. I yelled at David, and he brought the shovel and finally, finally got him. I would not let him catch him this time. I was so done with being a nice person. He has moved on, permanently. 

I'm still checking my little fish every few minutes. Having to redo the pond again because we took up all the rocks around the pond trying to find that crazy snake. Ready to get it put back together, and once I know they're safe I'll get a couple more Koi to replace the others. I don't know how many he got, but there are several missing. Makes my heart hurt thinking about them swimming for their lives and getting caught. 

On to a more pleasant thought, I gave up eating and buying my meds this month to get a washer. I was not able to get what I wanted, but got a washer. Going to the laundry mat is quite expensive. Didn't know when I would ever have the money, so figured I would just do without meds for a couple months. I don't want to but I couldn't come up with any other solution. It will be delivered next Monday. So skipping the laundry mat this week. It's driving me nuts, I can't stand dirty clothes hanging out in the laundry room.. 

Here's some pretty things that I am in love with today>>>>>>>

Totally loving this color and the dresser. Makes me want to go buy a bucket of paint and paint something.

photo: The Jungalow

And there's this dress I want.
photo: OASAP

And how pretty are these canisters!?
Photo: Amazon

There's this fabulous book that will change your life... I listened to it last week, have listened to it every night since. I have ordered the book. It's fantastic. 
photo: Amazon

And of course, no day is complete without a great quote.